It's been a while since I last posted, but then again its because I'm in the army, somewhat.
Army, so how's it been for me, rather boring cause out of those two and half month I was in hospitals for 2 months, due to lower back injury and right leg. I ain't going to explain more than say that I have a disease called spondylosis.
I had a vacation during x-mas and I enjoyed it. 85% of the time I was in my laptop and updated my playlist, from 152 to 400+ on my cell phone.(thanks to one person)
On the other hand, one the 2nd day of my vacation I saw my ex, Karin, and it was somewhat disappointing, because since I still love her, and her hate for me, as she claims, she made out of with me? Like uhm? Why? The question remains.
I have a fantastic idea for my stereo system, a designer called Oskar daniel made speakers called Hive Module. Pic->
http://www.techau.tv/blog/hive-modular-speaker-system/




OMG OMG OMG SOOOOO cool!!!


From tomorrow morning I will go back to rehab in army and in few days I will return to Seli rehab center.
I once remembered how I used to listen to rock&roll, but changed myself to pop/hip-hop, HOWEVER, REV THEORY FTW!!!!


"Rev Theory- Hell yeah"


Bai <3

Anger is one letter short of danger

So where to start this quite awkward weekend of mine? First of all, I'm really pissed of at certain person, and she bloody hell knows why. But before we move on to why and what has happened, I would love to mention to people that there's a new way for everyone to read this blog. Since I got flamed at, by doing the same things she does, then I shall turn the tables around. It took me all night, but I figured what I can do to make it different from all the other people, who blog. Whenever I shall writing a paragraph about something, I will give you a song you could listen to, to understand me closely, as to the following, lets start. 
P.S Who doesn't listen the songs, are haters! 

 Chapter 1. Darude-Buring

The reasons why I chose this song, is simple, I'm burning inside out right now. I discovered what was done with one of my accounts in a social site, when I gave my trust to her. Imagine the furious in my words, and the anger, the feelings that was deprived inside my soul, they were unleashed. How could someone so dear to me, someone I had my complete trust in, do this awful thing? What was her reason, did she hate me for that? Did she deleted all those of my memories, just to get back at me? Whatever the reasons were, my total trust to her right now, have vanished. And once they are gone, they cannot be reclaimed back, without nearly impossible actions. 

 Chapter 2.  Avenged Sevenfold - Blinded In Chains.


 The really annoying part of my life is, I'm chained and I'm blinded by her. Everything she does, has a big affect on me, everything she says, can make me happy or turn the tide and let me fall into deep depression. Is this a obsession? If so, how can I get out of this shit hole and release myself from my chains? If this is my subconsciousness talking, screw this shit, I wanna break free!


 Chapter 3.  Simple Plan- Shut Up


 Why won't people just shut up? I mean seriously, it is starting to get on my nerves when people start talking with senseless crap, haven't got any idea what is going on, or just try to lie to one another with talks like : " I care about you". Maybe I'm not the perfect guy, but everyone has mistakes. Why don't you just shut your mouth and let me help myself? I know I'm the one everyone loves to hate, but I need someone in my life who knows who I truly am and understands me. Although that person found, she hates me in her own way. 


 Chapter 4. Pitbull feat. Marc Anthony- Rain Over Me

 Girl my body and my mind don't lie! Everything suits perfectly for me when I want to, but when I fail at one thing, everything falls apart. Why? I'm a clumsy freak faggot, told by her, many times, over the past years. After all she has told me, wishing how I never would be in her life, maybe those days are coming. Maybe her 2009 wish will come true and she looses me. What will happen to her and me? I'm already broken and empty from heart, but I cannot tell what goes around in her body and mind.


Chapter 5. Status Quo feat. Scooter- Jump That Rock


 Now lets jump this rock! I wanna build the perfect life for me, and the perfect life consists of 3 things : Her, our success and dreams come true. How to jump into that life? Freaky, but the opportunities are limited and hopeless, but one cannot stop dreaming right? Without dreams we are nothing, without dreams we cannot predict our future. Time to get jiggy with it and move my life on! Forget her? Never, impossible. Be with her? Impossible, but never say never. Make her happy? One can only dream of it, but I cannot give her the happiness she wants, then its nothing between us, but 2 eyes on either end. 


 The conclusion to all this. I sincerely hope everyone respects to my new rules and follow them. I also hope to start a lottery between me and my readers. But the lottery will start next summer, because its time to hit the army. Army, where the boys will loose their body hair and turn into men, a place where you cannot get laid for months and you will start to see 50 year old kitchen women a nice appetizer, a place to grow up and build your own perspective of life.

 Adios.

Timeless moments

"The most important thing is to be whatever you are,without shame"

Fantastic words told by Rod Steiger. You cannot exist in your life, nor can you enjoy it if you feel ashamed of yourself. A personal hint to someone dear of mine.

I'm trying to enjoy my last month by doing the stuff I like:) Freedom before pain :) I'm actually getting more anxious day by day, in the hopes of what awesome techniques I shall learn/obtain and how much pain I shall feel with my body. 
 On the other hand, thanks to the time I spent working in the car wash, I've learned enough stuff and got myself some pretty awesome ideas, of what to plan for the time after army. 
 Yesterday I felt like I was one of the dumbest shitheads in the world. While we was talking and walking along the streets with Karin, while she hummed few really famous artists melodies/symphonies. Seriously I felt like I... well enough of that. I suppose that's what inspired me to take up some books and started learning from my free will?! (Weird and freaky I know) So by the first thing I took clear of was destroying some ideas in my mind, that kinda stopped me from wanting to learn, and it worked(I feel weird though)
 Back to the business, I've finished my Clicbank 1200 paged guide and my head spins like a charm with all the new knowledge, but it was well worth it, cause it gave me pretty nasty but working ideas how to promote some products without even doing anything.
 Anyhow, I need to fix my guitar, the last string ain't doing what it should be doing asdf. I want to learn to play some nice songs, so I can move to another instrument, my long lasting love, Piano.
 I also discovered a certain fact, pretty nasty one, then it hit me, I had done it myself. It's time to quit that nasty habit(its not lieing, I'm done with that shit long time ago) and fix this shit, and it can take months, but then again 8 months in army, can change the problem and finally work as it should.

I so love this picture!!!!




Sum 41- Makes No Difference.

Old, but bloody hell good song :)

 

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen

A quote from a famous person, who's name I don't remember, but it is said very well. The actual point is pretty awesome, since most things just don't happen, its bound to lead from one action to another. But what amazes me most, each negative effect in my life, can lead to several positive effects.


"Why kiss your girlfriend when you can send her an online reminder that you love her. Wait....what?"
 Like omg, that's probably the best sentence I've ever heard, it cracked my balls enough to laugh my stomach into hurting pile of snow. Seriously who would be dumb enough to do such thing? Literally it has to be the most idiotic thing ever.
 I got a compliment about my arms, as they've started to look like a arm not a piece of bone. So this has to mean my own made exercise is working pretty well :) (wiii)  I've also started to give a heavy training to my shoulders and lower back, so I could recover my kyphosis.
 One month to go before hitting to the army!! Oh hell no!!! I somewhat dislike going there, but a part of me still likes to go there. Now I'm confused. 8 months of hardcore training, can be quite good to be honest!

 This picture was taken today morning, 1st of september and I decided to wear some descent clothes and send her to school as her personal body guard :)


 Disturbed-Stricken. pretty awesome song, strongly recommend it!

Beyond Your Musical Limits

What is it what I mean with my headline? How is it that people often tend to only listen to certain music? Are they getting their musical satisfaction with it? It can be, but as it goes for myself, I tend to listen to all sorts of music, from rock to club music, as I find my own musical limits from each genre. 
 On other subjects. She has officially announced that she will throw me out of her life for good, and she also admitted she never felt anything for me, due to reasons of her having no feelings anymore at all.

 I also started drawing, and for my 1st sessions of drawing will be wolves, don't ask me why, but drawing animals seems far more easier than drawing humans. The picture above this text is the first picture I drew.
 Having a guitar is awesome, though I don't have any skill yet, I'm improving a lot, I decided to give it a try and play a song "Ilus Hetk" by Jaan Tätte. First 5 notes went right, then I messed up, but its still a step for me don't you think?


 Interesting fact, that sad people are claimed to have more accurate memories. So if I decide to be a sad man, I have more accurate memories and better memorizing? Interesting.....
  
 Nightwish- End of Hope


 This song is perfect, since all of my hopes ended 2 days ago. I love the song!

The truth

Lets face it, I have to accept it, no matter what the end results are. Probably the most terrifying idea of all is that I should loose all the contacts with her, to make her, how to say, more human maybe? I suppose I was the true reason behind what ruined both mine and her lives. Looks like it.
 It took her 4 years to feel pity for me, 4 hours to be in love with me, 4 minutes to be happy, 4 seconds to loose all those feelings.So what are the true feelings behind us two? My feelings are astonishing, because I can't stop thinking about her no matter what I do, whereever I am or if I'm dead or alive. The worst part is my heart is broken by her, it flew to billions of pieces, it burnt my inside feelings from slim to none however all those feelings put together, I still can proudly and loudly say "I do love Karin" to anyone who asks from me. I have seen thousands of girls when I was visiting Helsinki and Tallinn. Sure 1/3 of them looked like models with big boobs and a face of a beauty queen, yet the amazing thing is I looked at them, talked with few of them, but my heart isn't working at all, it felt nothing.The very same effect is with earthquakes, they come out once every decades or so, yet when  they do, they make incredible damage to everyone around it. My heart is simply like that, its quiet for decades, then she opened my heart, my mind, my soul, my everything, and then she took the liberty of putting a bullet in it. I've stayed silent for long time, specially from the inside feelings, but not anymore. What gives the right for people to hurt each other? What gives us the reason to love someone? Why do we love people around us? Is it because we have feelings? How come I don't want to feel that feeling????? What sort of monster am I? My mind is destroying me, my  body is shutting down, does this mean I am off to a start of dieing? Step by step, I've lost it all. 


 How can I turn it upside down? Maybe taking a gun into my hands, pointing it at a direction of my head, and pull the trigger? No, that will not do the trick, I'm not useful as dead, but as alive I'm not useful anyhow. If there is someone in this life who turned my life around its Karin. I had been a total waste before I knew her, and all those 3 years I did knew her, all those times she flamed and blamed me at everything, it just tore me apart but somehow she also took the liberty of putting me back together. She is the only one who can kill me and revive.
 What are the feelings you get when your in love? Think about it and it will show you the true person who you are in love with. 
Violin Hip Hop - Broken Sorrow


Laterz and thanks for reading(like someone actually does read it)

Rain Over Me

A few days ago I got a question from my ex: "Why don't you blog anymore?" Of course I don't blog each day, if I sleep all day long, why would I have to blog about it? On the other hand if something funny, amazing or interesting has happened, then let the writing begin.
 A lot has happened since I last wrote here. For instance, Karin was dumped by "Him"(The guy she loves more than world) Now the reasons for that particular event are known for me,but everyone else should not know about it.
 I actually wanted to skip my drivers licence school, but I took my strength back and went for it, and I passed it. Now its time to wait for ARK, if I pass their exams as well, I will get my licence before army and I already know what car I want to buy, will be cost effective, but for start I'm actually looking for some old-school car, like a 1998 Mondeo or something.
 Ford Mondeo
That's the car I will buy for now :)

 I finally took my knowledge and made myself a perfect exercise schedule for morning and evening. I <3 Askmen for providing me with a spectacular information! My body is actually improving a lot, specially my arms :)

Six Sixes?So what is it, a system invented by women on how to check if a guy is worthy to date? Interesting, quite a interesting factor indeed. As i read it through really carefully, I discovered I have 1 points out of 6, so there are still a lot of improvement to be done. Only few people know what is it I am qualified for.


 When Dash Berlin came out with his new album "United Destination" there was this incredible sentence that got into my heart: "Music is unifying factor: An language unspoken to all" Now tell me that this ain't so true, cause it is!!!

 I've started to learn Spanish, well moving on with it, and trying to learn it fully with in a year. No es esto tan genial? :D

 My new PUMA shoes are reaching Tallinn today, so only few more days to get them, I'm so dam anxious already!!!


 Quote of the day : "A man is a summons and challenge"
  This suits perfectly for Karin, if she understands what I mean with it.

Question of the day: " Why does everything seems so painful when a simple word or face expression can change it 180 degrees?"


 People who have lost their love of their life, can only feel it, and I know 3 people that have that experience. 


Pitbull-Rain over me



P.S To Karin- I will never quit of something I've started!

New style new life!

I got a new day with tons of new stuff. For example, I started to change my clothing style. Right now, I'm collecting new clothes, as we speak, and I've made a nice outfit for me,from PUMA to Tom Tailor :)

 I got some nice and bad news as well what has happened today. Well, for instance, I met Karin, after 3 weeks of not seeing, and it felt bloody great, because each time I see her I get a smile upon my face. And today was no different from all the other days. So what did we do today? Well it varies from drinking cofffee to listening to music. We talked a lot of what has happened, recent events, etc. I wish there would have been more time though, because there was so much I wanted to talk with her. I admit, I had a weak spot, and I cried for a minute, because it still hurts me to have her by my side, and in the same not have, if you understand what I mean. 

 My ring arrived!!! I am so happy!!! It suits to my finger as melted only for mine.Once my shoes and other parts of my new outfit arrives, I will make a picture of myself, to let you guys see my new style :) I hope everyone loves it, as do I!

 I really hope friday will have a sunny day, because I really want to go to Kaagjärve and swim in the lake! Otherwize I gotta modify my plans, which I hate to do to be honest.

 Qoute of the day : "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out" 

 That is a interesting quote,yet surprisingly akward in the same time. If you can't figure out how that sounds weird, you need some english lessons =)

PH Electro- San Fransisco

 Question of the day : " What happens after today?"

 I cannot tell that because I honestly have no glue whatsoever myself. Maybe time will tell, maybe not. Just wait and see, but all I can say, for those 1,5 hours we talked with Karin, it was a morning I will never forget, even if I had a small breakdown!

See you tomorrow =)

Be Free:)

How can people be free? Free from pain? Free from obstacles? Well anyone can think of hundred different reasons how to be free, although I am not free:( It hurts to love someone who much, that doesn't love you back. One-sided love, one of the worst kinds of love ever to be walking on earth! Am I the only suffering this? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, I can't say. All I know though is that it is a pain I cannot bear, I want to be free from this pain, but its causing me more pain
  One of the most interesting quotes I've read @ Askmen is : "Man was made to mourn"-Robert Burns, who was actually a 18th century poet. It has a point in it, I've mourned several people, I even mourn myself.
 On the other hand, the fact I've read today is simply hilarious, so here it is(This is to all idiots who drive porche):
 "Driving a Porsche communicates, that your interested in uncommited sex" Now that shit is hilarious, no wonder that Porsche guys never are married or family guys!!! I'm actually laughing my ass off!!
  I have some good news as well!! I got a pay raise from Mäga :) Now I earn 256 euros a month =) not 130 euros, I'm quite glad for it.
 I started to run twice a day, morning circle and evening circles. That is so awesome, I feel so good every morning and every evening! :) Maybe soon I will start running 10miles a day, instead of 5miles.
  I cannot wait for friday already!! I really want to go to Kaagjärve and swim on the lake for hours and hours, all alone there, but oh well, its still better than sitting in my apartment for 12 hours.


Mari-liis Aasmäe-Kevadel


 I know it is a estonian song, with Estonian lyrics, but it is a really good song. It has lyrics, specially the refrain. I wish someone could catch me too, not throw me away, like it has happened.


 Question of the day : " If I would give you my love more than ever, would it change the way I feel for you?" I will give my best to answer it. I would honestly not know if this would happen, I cannot give more love to Karin, I would become too needy or doormat for her, and I don't want that. Me and Karin both know, I want her back, I love her, and I would do anything for her, but she never loved or loves me, not now, not in near future. But if I would try to give my love to Karin, more than ever, without her noticing that, maybe that will set me free and I get rid off all my pains!


 P.S Sorry for not making a topic yesterday, I was too busy watching Dr.House. I started watching all the 7 seasons again, and currently I'm at season 4!! I love it, I can study a lot more from the series, than I could learn in medical school.


 See you tomorrow:)

Fly High!

I wanna fly, fly high, with you baby!

And leave the world behind!!!!

 Those are the words that are coming in my head 24/7, but knowing I can't, well that hurts, badly. When I was with Karin, I flew higher than anyone or anything in the world. She made me go higher than 100 heavens, no one could ever have, and will not, do that anymore for me. 

 I wonder, how many people really do read my blog? 1? 2? No idea, but since I got 1 follower,perhaps she does read what I have to say, maybe just because she can laugh at my miserable life, I cannot tell. 

 I got a crazy ass rap song from Samu(My best pal)today called Reggae Rekka, which is hilarious for Estonians , because Rekka, in estonian means Truck, so for us, its Reggae Truck :D

  "Sweets are good for children", now this is news that I love to read! According to their research, when the old research showed, candies are bad for children's teeth and body. Well now the new research claims, eating candies at early children's ages, can actually avoid the kids being fat or obese in later lives! 

 I read of an interesting topic @ Askmen today. " Why do nice guys finish last" The main subject the topic was all about, was that nice guys act like womens doormat, and therefore bowing them like goddess's . The thing is, according the women(and yes the topic was written by a woman), nice guys lives are like a routine work, even sex! Now that I start to think about it, I honestly acted this way too, when I was together with Karin. No wonder, now I found yet another reason she left from my life.

 I'm having quite much of a fun with my new hobby, and its improving so much, as is my life. I have improved my life far more than I could have ever dreamed about, even the biggest problem I had, I took the ways I came up with, and put them in practise, I didn't even got a feeling I would do it, it felt SO good, honestly, My life hasn't been more clean as it is right now. Maybe my break up with Karin, made me realize, how much I had to loose with all my wrong acting, Thanks yet again! ( I would honestly kiss you for more than 24 hours in row)

 "If she's moody, quickly become  the most patient, sensitive human alive"
 Now this qoute from Sex&Dating @ Askmen, this has its positive and negative sides, but overall, its quite possibly the most perfect way for a man to get his hands down and make a perfect day to either side of the two people.

  

 Question of the day : "What is worse, loosing friends or loosing everything you ever could have dreamed about?"
 This question can be interesting in several hundred reasons. Defining "Everything you ever could have dreamed about",we can take this as "Love of your life". So which is worse, loosing your friends or your love of life? I suppose the second option is worse. I have lost her, but my feelings and my love for her, have never changed for her, never will either! 

Shaggy- Fly High


 I just love that song, it brings me memories of Karin, all the good ones, and I know in my heart, everything she did, it just kept flying me higher than anything!


 P.S  We had uber awesome thunderstorm yet again today @ Valga!!! For 20 minutes it gave 4 really strong bangs, and I was having ear orgasm!!! 


See you tomorrow :)


Take care and have fun :)

Home Decor!

To start why I made a topic called "Home Decor", that's why because I read an amazing story what's behind your own, as a male of course, home. The things included was, whether you can get your date on advance state or not, it all depends on how your home is. The best what I did read about it was, whenever you have your date at your home, when she sees your home cleaned, furnished( Added with some luxury touch<3) and most importantly, having books, loads of them, chances are advanced dating will be 100%. 

 I also discovered, well not me, but some study reports that when people are getting paid, its 1/4 more chances of dieing? Interesting is it not? Dam yeah. The thing is, taking USA as a example, 1/3 of Americans are overweight( giggles all night long), and therefore, if people get paid, they get hyperactive. By that I mean, they go out, they go to restaurants, head to stores more often. Now here's the tricky part of this study. If a person is overweight, lets say 140kg, when he/she gets paid, and starts going hyperactive on pay day, the organism in his/her body starts to think " Whoa whoa, hold on there horsey, I ain't used to move/eat that much" And therefore higher risk to heart attacks are occured on pay day. I'm frankly more than happy I'm a slim guy rather than some fat ass with man boobs!

 My auctions are going well, I won a wristwatch, a nice shiny one :) It just costed 9€, now I'm on the run for acoustic guitar, so far so good, but 3 days left, and the owner is thinking on putting 65€ price for it, if he does, hell yeah I will buy it :)

 Yesterday when I said I wished I could dance like on the Scooters- Jump that rock video guys did, I tried it and I fell down 3 times, my ass still hurts, but its fun. I hope to learn in asap, so I can start putting some other moves to it, and build some "Step Up 3D" movie moves and impress myself :)
 Today @ work it was pain in the ass, literally. I ran like a madman, sweating from all over my body, but I did full cleaning, inside out, to 4 cars!! 123€ to Mäga(my boss) from my end alone :) That's well over 23€ as a bonus for me today! (Happy a bit)

 What else.... ooh, I've updated my playlist to well over 200 songs already, and its improving day by day. I've also started to hear some rock&roll, hence Foo fighters, Disturbed, a lot of their songs are pretty awesome! ( I hope my neighbours don't start knocking my door cuz of loud music)

 

Eric Chase- Love comes around

 Its so well made song, the video is perfect, however I'm not attracted to, how to say, model like girls. I know they are amazing looking, most of them have tits bigger than my own head, but as far as I've seen them, most of them are complete blonds, from head to toe. 

 

Question of the day: " When is the time for me to admit Karin that I want to meet her?" 

 Another extraordinary question, yet again, but still I do want to meet her, everyday I'm thinking on asking that from her, but it is too painful for me at the current moment. What is she declines my invitation to coffee? Another question, questions such as those are bouncing in my mind. The time I need might be weeks, months, who knows might turn years. If she was happy with me, she never said it, but if she was, and not anymore...Well I sincerely, hope she is happy without me, if that's true, then I can live and be a single. Frankly I hate being single, but my heart cannot give its love to anyone else that Karin. 

 

 P.S Don't answer me for the question in msn Karin, I might get depressed, but I cannot stop you from telling if that's what you want.

 

 See you 2morrow :)

Bai :)

Updates!

Did I say Updates? Eh I mean big big updates :) There's so much that has happened today, several big news and some that are less significant. So let's start this :)
 1. The very first and biggest news for me today was that I passed my drivers licence school's driving exam!!!!! YES I did it!!! I only had 1 mistake in 2 hours of driving and my teacher was more than happy to teach me and he was so proud at me :)))) During the time I drove, me and my teacher, we visited Kaagjärve( a place with a beautiful lake) We got to the lake, and we went outside, talked for like 10minutes, but my god the lake was amazing, I so want to go roving there!!!!!! I also realized, I was not far away from Karin, probably 5-10km from her home.... thank god she didn't saw my driving skills, she would have laughed. I also saw Karin's dad when we drove in Vabaduse street :) We both said "Hei" to each other as well. I dunno though whether he knew it was me or not..
 2. The second big news was that Karin talked with me today! I am stunned cause she did, as I didn't hope she ever would talk with me. We didn't talk for hours or smth, but it was a short yet understandable. I also told her I need time for myself to figure out my own feelings, my own side from this shit, etc. I really hope she understood what I meant with it. I would talk with her, days, weeks, months. years and decades in row, but right now it would hurt me more than make me happy.

 3.  I found one of the most coolest fact today @ Askmen(Mens online magazine), so here it is: "One-third of women report being too tired of busy for sex". I mean seriously? What the douche? Sex is probably the most incredible feeling in everyone's lives, but being too busy or tired for it? Pff, seems to me that 1/3 of women think of sex as a routine duty.

 4. I believe that I've found a incredible way to loose everything bad I ever had in my past, and that includes my lieing to everyone!!!! It isn't so big news, as I did found it earlier, but today, while I drove with Golf 5(during my driving exam) I upgraded that technique and I've realized its far more easier than I ever thought! To be honest, truth is million times better than any lie, no matter if its small or big, needed or not, it just comes out to everyone someday, whether its month or years, days or hours!. 

 5. As I made a promise to everyone, here's something for you to listen. A small review of my upcoming song, that is dedicated to Karin, and our 5 months relationship. I must warn, it is a sad rythm, but you guys are here to judge, not me. 

 A small review

 6. OMG OMG OMG!!! LIGHTNING!! God I love thunder and lightning! It was so cool during 17.00 pm, when I was working, the thunder storm, I got chills all over my body, it was SO awesome!!! Me likey-likey!!

 Well those are the news for today, hoping to get some more and better news tomorrow :) Wish me good luck^^

 Scooter-Jump that rock

It is SO cool song!! I have got to learn to dance the same way, as those guys there dance @ 0.45 seconds.

 Question of the day: " Should I be just friends with Karin?"
 Interesting question, yet one of the most hardest question I have to answer for myself. She knows what I feel for her, and she knows how much I love her( Or does she?)! Well anyhow, I can answer that question in a month, maybe in a year, no one can tell.

Bai!

P.S So fuking badly I wanted to tell Karin today that "I love her, and that I want her back in my life" But due to the recent events, I cannot, it would make me look like a doormat for her, begging her to come back to me, which she won't.

Heaven or hell?

Being in heaven is good, specially if your in heaven with the person you love the most. For me on other hand, this can't happen obviously. Hell in that case, that is the place I belong to.Although I don't listen to heavy metal, or act like a dick( I have acted like this, probably one of the reasons I lost her) but I belong to hell. I've made my life sound like a place perfectly suiting for people who go to hell.

 I had laughs today!! Is that a miracle? Perhaps...perhaps indeed. But that was incredible that I laughed. The reasons why I had laughs was because I hanged out with Karin's friend Keidy :) We talked about drivers licence school, and we discussed about a lot of things, including the real reasons behind my disastrous break-up with Karin. It made me feel as if I'm one of the worst men in world, maybe I am, maybe I'm not, no one can really tell that.  Me and Keidy talked for around 1,5 hours and I honestly laughed many times. 

 At work, I had no mood to work today, it brings so much memories for me when we was together with Karin. When she visited me, waited me, or just came to my work for few minutes. When I remembered that, while I was smoking, my mood fell 100x lower and it gave me depression. But overall, I've started to think more positive.

 Sex addiction? What the hell haha? I did knew people can become sex addicted, but becoming one so easily, that I wasn't aware of! Californication series star David Duchovny obviously is one. Thank god I am not one, but after reading how easily one can become on, I'm scared!

 I saw a futuristic yacht from Adastra! WOW!! That looked like a dam fighter from Star wars, ugly as hell from outside, but more beautiful inside! Same goes for humans, looks isn't 100% when loving the opposite sex! That's the reason I never think of myself as a cute guy, I don't like Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp, but I have characteristics they don't. 

 Well nothing more for now. Tomorrow I will start giving out hints on how my song is taking advance! I will also post a small recorded sounds of it, no lyrics, but still a start! I have written all the lyrics I need, all that I owe my biggest thanks to Karin! The time we spent together helped me figure out the lyrics and she helped me the most with my song!

 So Karin: "I give you my biggest and most sincere thanks!"

 See you tomorrow with new news and more text of my upcoming journey to "Becoming a better Man" 

 P.S I am also having an auction on Osta.ee for a acoustic guitar. Its a new hobby I call: " Take this and leave that"

Bai :)

(I cannot hide my depression when I'm all alone in my rented apartment, all those memories with me and Karin, it's killing me!!! :(. I might think of changing the apartment)


My Chemical Romance- Na Na Na Na

Step it up!

I took the open opportunities of trying myself to loose depression with few in hand chances, such as:
 1. I started running again, it felt good for my body, and for those 15mins I didn't feel depressed. Listening music, and running is a great way to get your body fit and loose your thoughts.
 2. I also started to hit my brain, whenever I started thinking about Karin, not literally, but in a way that I will keep it to a secret.
 3. To remind myself of Karin, and the time we spent together, I gathered all my memories, sad moments, good moments and perfect moments, and I wrote them down and I started to make a song about them. It was my secret to make it before 15th of july, when me and Karin was about have 6 months together, but now I will make it whenever I get the lyrics set and the rythm done in FL Studio 9.
 4. Although I feel as shit 24/7, I also realized, no matter what I would do, move on, or kill myself, it wouldn't bring her back, therefore my new hobby : "Becoming a perfect man". I know it is a long journey for me, but hoping I will destory my past and build a new me, will be a good start to avoid my biggest problem,lieing. It is over, but as we know, and I know, it may come back, so I have to work more than hard to accomplish it.
 5. Learning dancing, not balley, but club dancing, working on some tricks and moves, that can astonish not just me, but everyone around me. (Hip-hop here I come)


Those 5 are just the beginning of my journey, but giving it a small start, can turn into something bigger in long run. Now, I'm studying for my exams for drivers licence and trying to build my 2nd website, for some extra income of my choice :)


 I have to see you next time I will write :) Take care


P.S I still miss Karin so badly, if I could see her for just a second, with her eyes on me, I couldn't imagine my feelings, should I say "Hei" and hug her, or run away in the other direction. Who knows, we will see once this happens, if it happens.


Martin Solveig- Ready 2 Go

Life or death?

I suppose everyone already knows what has had happened in the past 5 days. For the ones who doesn't know, I've lost Karin(the girl I love more than anything). The reason why it happened is because appearently she lied to me if she said she loved me, but the main problem is that she left me because she realized what a dick I am. I know I'm not proud of my past life, nor happy in the past events that has happened with my previous relationships, but I took all that and finally changed my life 180 degrees. I've stopped lieing to people, but on June 15th, I took the liberty of lieing to another girl. Yes I did it, I admit it, but it was one lie I had to do, because I didn't saw any other opportunity. It was my last seconds critical decision, but lieing to others, I've not done so since April. I used to lie, and hurt people, including Karin, but she took me with her, and she changed my life totally!!
 All that hard work, to change myself, and still nothing has changed, were we happy with Karin, when we were together? Maybe, I was more than happy, I can honestly say, I was happier than 101% of the men worldwide. Being with Karin was the time of my life, and I sincerely hope it was the same for her, after all she said.
 All that said, it doesn't really matter now, Karin has left me all alone, packed her bag and left me all alone in the world. It hurts, it hurts every bit of my heart and soul, and I will be honest with you, I wanted to kill myself, a part of me still does, but I can't do it. I've told several people I care about, that I'll kill myself, but I just cannot do this. It would hurt Karin,and all the other people even more. I don't want to seem weak person, although I've cried over Karin for days. ( I know men should be strong, but loosing your love of your life, hurts)
 Maybe we can pick up another subject tomorrow, maybe not. I just hope that Karin will someday realize how much I truly do love her, and when I said to her : "I will never leave you", maybe she understands I meant it with all my heart.

 I love you Karin(L)

 Please forgive me for what I've done to you, to hurt you and lied in the past. 

Truth?

Which is better, lieing to the one you love, keeping secrets from her, or telling her the pure truth? Its a two-sided situation, and it hurts me saying that I cannot keep any secrets from her. I cannot do anything if I wouldn't have her by my side. Loosing her would mean the end for me, having her makes me the happiest man on earth. But however I have all those fears, like I wrote yesterday, and it still hurts me, still giving me nightmares, my body shakes every night I'm going to sleep all alone, every minute I cannot hug her, every second I cannot lay my eyes on her, it hurts me. I still think that what would happen if I get get hurt from her now? What would happen to me? Die, in one big way, my whole body, my loving to everything would simply die and I would feel numb from every part of my body, soul and my mind :(

 I can't stop thinking. Every time she goes to a bus, or goes away from me, every single time my heart starts to yell, scream and it stops beating. I cannot stop loving her, I love every bit of her!!! :((( 


 As I write this, I cannot help not to mention, but my hands are shaking, my head spins 600 times per second and my heart is screaming back at me: "Get a hold of yourself". The truth is, I don't know what would I do without her sweet warmness, her presents or if I wouldn't be with her. I.... I cannot express anything more what would happen to my body while I write anything more.

Aerosmith-I dont wanna miss a thing

Telling the world

It hurts me as much as anyone else, seeing the girl you love your whole life, who's your reason for life, after everything your trying, it just hurts like a hurricane. What is the reason behind my fears, she will go to another guy? Past experiences, really bad ones, and the reason why I fear it the most is, I love Karin more than my own life, I would die for her, if needed, I want to make her happy from every bit of my soul and body, but its hard, so hard when I've had those problems.
 I once loved a girl, 3 of them, the reason why I fell in love with them, is insignificant, but however what happened to me while being in relationship with them, that was one of the most fearful thing. One the first occasion, it was so called "perfect". We were both happy, but as the time went forward, our happiness suddenly collapsed, to put this way. Why? She loved greece, and she went there every time she had the chance. At first it was ok,yet we know, everyone of us likes to party,so did she. She partied there every time she went there. But what I didn't know was that, she also had an affair there, with a local guy. It lasted for months until it came open. I was staying at her place, when she received a package from the guy. The package consisted of his sweaty T-shirt, and a letter, describing their best sex experience under the sunrise in the beach.What also happened, I nearly killed myself, because my blood pressure went sky high. How I felt? Well you can only imagine that, it made my heart upside down, non functional....w/e more. When I asked from her why? She said, I was too far away from her. I mean what the heck? I was only 300km from her,visiting her every weekend, and the guy she got affair with was 2000km away from her, seeing each other once every 2months.I got furious, ran off, and walked 95km from Tuusula to Helsinki, non stop. 
 As the story goes on, the other 2 girls did the same to me, not with foreign guys though, so imagine me getting hurt 3 times in row, in past 3 years. That is a shock to my heart, to my brain and this grew my fears all over everything. I have to get myself through all this, but now that I've really found Karin, and love her in a way noone else could, and when I saw her with another guy, laughing together, driving away together, you can imagine how all of the old memories popped out of my mind, and I was really seeing in reality that its happening again. All that pain, stress, crying, all of that is starting all over again. :'(

 Long story, a sad one, but as you read this, you know what really has happened to me in past 3 years. 

Glamour

 Glamour, what is it? It can be quite a lot of different things, most likely things you cannot imagine, however both good and evul!! (Evul!!!)

What is the sentence of the day for me? I'll qoute you with this:


The smarter you are, the more likely you are to be faithful to your girl.

 How is that possible that you can come up with this amazing sentence. In a way it is making sense, because nowadays men are complete asshole's ( I know, and since I'm a man I feel sorry for being one). For example, if you have brains, why not use them? Makes sense doesn't it? But if your a simple builder, a driving maniac, with no brains and thinks about 100+ different women, it is obvious his going to cheat way more per day than any normal guy with brains do. 

 Topic closed, next subject....

 Aha! I know what is the best way to get your finance problems dissappear. Think of a simple way to obtain knowledge, build it up in your brain, start working out, and think about the knowledge and its like " bling bling bling and the idea is done" What you really need is logic thinking, just like in logistics. 

  I know what my brain has produced, and it's not some " drink puke drink puke, get laid, work, drink and puke" mode.  The ideas I've come up could end up some of the problems here in Estonia, but what I need is some reliable friends who ain't going to "backfuck" me. 

 Next.....

 Be free? How, now ain't that on easy way to accomplish. ->

Radio Killer- Be free

Beauty never fades

So we had a little fun today, actually lots of fun =) But the point is, I enjoy my time being with her, every minute every second and goddam millisecond :D
  I love how a song can turn goose skin on me, there are only 3 songs that actually can do it, and all of them are like 90s or early 2000.
 Facebook, the place where people come every single day, I've seen people who actually only have a account for playing Mafia wars, what the...? Seriously, people should get a life outside their computer. How....Hows that possible?
 So, after a long time, and forgotten e-mails/passwords, I managed to loose my old youtube accounts( Yeah I know I had like 3 of them), so I decided to make a new one, and I even laughed at the username I made: "MeeleheitelKohuke" The name itself, if I translate it is-> Desperate Kohuke :D( I can't translate the word kohuke directly)
 I also got called "cute" so often by Karin, am I? Who knows,only time will tell, I still got a lot of stuff to do to overcome the ugliness to beautiness :D That's why I strongly suggest listening to Junkie Xl feat. saffron - Beauty Never Fades
 Anyhow, until next time Niggas :3(nothing to do with racism)


 Love you all <3

Walking disaster

And once again, the time for being a walking disaster has arrived for my life. Am I a devil or a angel? I got the attitude of a d1ck and I'm a complete asshole. I'm in total depression, and I want to end everything I've worked for, because it ain't worth it anymore.
 I took the liberty of turning my most wonderful life into a disaster, ruined everything, took the advantage of beauty and turned it into a thunderstorm. I hate myself, totally, I can't explain how to define the word  "asshole", but knowing myself, I know that's who I am. I want to close my eyes, forget my life, start over and turn everything I had into a beautiful world, but its just TOO FUCKING hard. I can't believe my own words anymore, everything I say will make the world look like Yokoshima nuclear power plant disaster. 

 Everything I do think or say
Will turn the world into a bad way
I tend to ruin everything I ever had
I feel so alone inside am I bad?
I want to live the life I once dreamed
Being happy and without worries
In reality its not what it seemed


I want to scream out loud so bad, turn the apartment upside down and throw everything I have out of the window, scream your name,saying "I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE", but will it change me? Her eyes make me never watch stars, her hair is more beautiful than whole worlds womens put together, her lips they turn everything bad into good, her words she says makes everything bad go away, I love the way she acts, talks, blinks her eyes, everything she does makes me happy. On that note, everything I do, makes her unhappy, my kisses, my acting, my empty little promises, my every move.
 
 I am now officially a walking disaster.

P.S If you want to know how I am, listen to "Sum41- Walking Disaster"
Sum41-Walking Disaster

Nightmares

Like anyone else, I too have fears in my life, and the biggest of all, is loosing Karin. I....I'm just afraid too much right now.
 Few days ago, I had a dream of similar to this situation, and its happening, I don't know what should I do, I'm just freaking out. 
 What will happen tomorrow? What will happen the day after tomorrow? Everything has collapsed in the past 24 hours, my life, my dreams, my hopes, my wishes.
 Nothing to do, but sit and cry, sleep and shake, hoping that anything I would do, would make it all go away, but in reality it doesn't change a bit.

 I love Karin more than my own life, she broke up with me, it tore me apart, I wanted to scream, I yelled at myself for being a complete moron.
Love, it hurts me more than getting stabbed in the back. 

Women's Day

 

This time of the year it's women's day

You can't loose it by being away
I'm not there with you in Valga for now

but the times will come you'll see how

I know I made a mistake by doing this late

I hope your still in a position for no hate

The spring is around the corner for you

And I will do my best to bring it for you

The summer is soon and it will be sunny

I'll be there with you,jumping like a bunny

Now take my words and believe me

This year I will bring us closer forever

As my biggest dream was to be together

I love you now and every other day

I love you forever, its just my way

Lottery jackpot or debts life?!

Which is one better then? Is it purely life changing that you win a jackpot, for a amount of 1million dollars? For most people yeah it would change their lives, but also it would ruin their lives. It is astonishing to see such a big amount of money in their bank accounts, specially if they haven't seen more than 1000$ per month on their bank account.
 Same for me, because I would be stunned to see such a big pile of cash in my card, I would go nuts from shopping to be honest, but in the same time I wouldn't waste all those millions dollars, I'd simply take actions that would provide me more cash, instead of wasting it in a matter of month or two.
  But why is it that people go bankrupt in a month after the win of lottery? It's so easy to understand, you, me, everyone have got their dreams, who wants 5 cars, who wants 10 houses, who wants to party in Las Vegas for a week, the dreams are endless and in the same time, our mind simply won't work on the : "whoa whoa, stop right there horsey, you got 20k left from 1million". They keep on wasting it until its over, and they are back in debts.
 Serves them right, and I can only blame one thing on this problem, schools!!!! Dam right, no offence to students, but no school in hole white world, teaches how to overcome with money. You can get worlds best education on electronics, chemistry, etc, but no one in world teaches you what to do with the money once you have it! And that is why people who do use their brain and skills from learning : "How to avoid being in debts", they get richer everyday, and the people who don't use their brain simply work for 50 years and then die, without ever doing anything special.



Anything else what I'd love to write about? Not really, sneezing my face off, 19 sneezes in a row is my record today!!!
 I got to think about my own dreams, 1/100 is complete and all that in 4 years, I gotta live to a 150 years old then to finish all my dreams :) Wish me good luck ha ha ha!

What men should really do?!?

Every man, including me, loves football, formula1, beer(not me) etc, however most men have no idea on how to act in a relationship.  Take some examples from the shitty actions I've done.

 1. Ignoring- NEVER EVER do this shit, unless you've come for one night stand with a woman. I've done such accidental moves a few times and the end result was I almost lost her for good.

2. Cheating - Your mind is a total retarded mode, not to mention your kuku, if you cheat, you don't love her as you claim. The worst is to cheat during the time the guy is drunk, oky the mind stops working, but enough beer and the kuku won't work for any woman as well. Double reason not to cheat.
3. Lieing- Where does this lead to? No where, so why lie at all? Any lie comes out at some point, and as the time goes on, the worst it will be towards others, and your girl.
4. Fighting-  A man who raises a hand towards a female, is the most senseless guy ever. Why? How about females don't have a power of a single man, who can hit with 600kg power towards anything. Secondly the mind of a man, who thinks, "Oky, ill hit her once, she shuts up and i can drink my beer again", that simply won't work. Women remember things, such as hitting her, for their whole life, no matter what they say in the end! Remember that guys!
 5. Pointless argue?- Oky, this may sound ridicolus. but without point, why argue at all? Instead its a lot more fun to have fun in bed, less stress for you two and more fun. You get my point, your a good guy, didn't get it, 4th grade in school awaits you :)


Well the list can go beyond those 5, but those I did list here, have a huge affect on your relationship :)

 A lot of new stuff tomorrow for you all :) See you then  (:

P.S I have got to get rid of my sneezing, and clean my keyboard, stupid nose!

"Your mind, Your weirdness"

The mind is a complex storage of information. Interesting, but what would happen if we would actually use it? What would happen if we would combine our minds and our own fantasies or weirdness's?  Would it be next generation of morons, who drive with 1994 BMW 525's or a big genius such as Einstein?
 I like to use my mind, its power is endless, however, too much brain work can lead to a serious headache, much more worse than your worst hangover from last nights visit to club. But one thing I find really funny is the way my mind, as a man, in bed works, or does it actually? I should think so, otherwize I wouldn't find her G-Spot in few seconds( that's what she claims).
What was the best thing I could come up with my mind? Ooh, what's that site Askmen, hmm oky, looks fun... omfg it is a lot fun, must inspect more. I remember looking into the site, and frankly one of the best things happened to me in my life. The best thing, what has happened, well you should know it quite well :)


 Kylie Minoque has her concert today in Saku Suurhall, Tallinn. Was quite awesome to see her in real life, as I was securing her room, for none douches to walk in. Anyhow, when she 1st noticed me, I tried my best and smiled. Before she walked into the room, next to me she stopped and told me: " Your the 1st security guard who smiles at his duties, but your so sweet"
 Now that was funny feeling :)

4 Elements!?

Oky, so after hearing a awesome fantastic etc song called "4 Elements", I was staggering of its bass. However I also got to think about the 4 elements for a happy relationship. After a serious consideration and looking at my own relationship, I found out those 4 but meaningful elements: "Trust;Love,Safety feeling, conversation between the two"
 Although they are all quite easy to accomplish most men never get it. Who has a crush for a woman for her body, who loves a woman for simply good sex, so there are a lot of different loves, but trust is what 99% of the male society fail upon.
 Conversation is something what is really important between the two people, specially the ones in relationship. Its like this: " Uhm, baby you want sex?" I mean that's not really good to ask now would it? As of this example, sex should be natural and without words, you can even see it from the persons eye and actions whether its sex she wants or a dinner (:
A blaga buga muga? I start to think I am a twin of Karin. We are so similar, its incredible, just like a drop of water, well not 100% she has a boobs and I got small nipples.( thank god I don't have male boobs)


 Well what's more interesting, aah dam I hate my low ass net speed with the slow ISP stuff in tallinn. I prolly lost 3 really good stuff on lockerz today, such as Apple Macbook Air, Ipod touch 32GB 4G one, etc. Sux :( Oh well next time I'll get it straight =)
 Cheers :)

Changed?

Am I changed? I am, because she made me a whole new person in quality, and she made me stop lieing, the biggest problem I had. I love her so much!!!!!! <3
 I am so stunned when she told me about my "golden hands and tongue" Although I don't think I'm so purely perfect, but in a case to her point of view, it might be just like it. For me though she is perfect :) and she always will be.
I so love my CSI series! CSI: New York and NCIS! Two of the best.


 I came to a perfect idea of what to do, another plan. :D Phase 1- Think. Phase 2- Think more. Phase 3- Act. Phase 4- "Ou jea"
 The simpliest way to put in a matter of words how my brain works is: " It goes round and round and round, and finally stop in the middle"


  

Hurted or disappointed?

So which is worse actually? Getting hurt by the boy/girl you love, or being disappointed in him/her? Interesting question that is, however I find that both of them are equally bad. Specially during the times such as Valentines day. I know it myself a lot, because I've ruined this years valentines day :(  I hope that I have enough balls to fix it with a special day for her. I gotta put my mind working, badly badly work on it.
 Enough of that, I'm beginning to realize all my actions done in ooh past 5 years have had a bad affect on other people around me. Anyhow, time to put my self-centered brain into action and change myself 180 degrees, or atleast 179 degrees. I don't like how I've lied to people, and that has to change.
 A small update on the decisions I've made is that I'll be moving to Valga, even though Tallinn has quite a lot to offer, it ain't the place I like to live in. Pass by there, sure, but living there has no point. A small step back has occured to my plans, stupid arses G4S on valga denied to take me to their company for the reasons as I simply asked 8 hour work days and didn't agree on 12-24 hour ones. That's normal? Hell no, I've been working 24 hours row , record goes above 44 hours, and it is killing a man, no matter how much they it won't.
 Taio Cruz- No other one. Simply one of the best songs, I just hope she realized I will never leave her, and that no other woman will never be like her in my eyes.


I'm so going to kiss you when I see you,
there are no limits to what I will do.
Your the sun in the morning in my eyes
I'm going to see myself never tell lies


I told you I love you from the very start
The dreams I have we'll never be apart
The sun shines so brightly in the sky
When I open my eyes I'll say Hi
Believe in me when I say this
You and me thats my biggest wish


A few lines that just popped in my mind.

Bad day or what?

Oky so today happened a lot. First of all I woke up the wrong way, almost fell down on my face on the floor. Then I had a big fight with Karin, almost everything I ever dreamed off were washed away in front of my eyes. But then again, as the day moved on I had a small walk to a secret spot of mine,  lay there in the snow, for 30 minutes and watched the sky, and came to think about myself, my doings and my future. However, after a hour or two of talks we came to a peace round and I got my final chance. And this time, for the love god, I won't blew it, if I will I will go walk naked on Viru Center.
 Uuh, I just love my classmate Raido, the teenager has some serious menopause for small boys turned on. Other than that, he tried to seduce Karin. ( low-life)  Ironic as it may seem, but I even feel sorry for him, at some point. The guy never knows how to act nor how to respect others stuff( hint hint)
 Club-Asteria is working for me again, pushing the limits further and further :)
I also realized the thing that matters the most in life. People keep saying "You can't live with a woman and you can't be without one" However, I got a perfect solution for this.  Get the right girl and you can't live without her. When you know you've found someone, you can always count on her/him.
More or less, I've learned my lesson today, and learning new lessons soon:)

Surronding noises?

Annoying people, bad voices, everything that is negative is so lame. Has anyone tried to go on a bus in Tallinn, drive from the 1st stop to the last stop, and watching, just watching, people and how they act? That is so freaky, every single person, has that low life face on themselves, constantly thinking about shooting themselves. Economics sucks donkey balls I know, specially in Estonia. Anyhow, moving on.
 Skullcandy's!! WUUHHUUU, I just love them, they are big, but who cares. Their music quality compared to shity ass Sony ones are amazingly huge difference.
 Disappointment, that is something fishy. I don't like to disappoint people, specially the ones I love and care about, however I tend to do so. Why? I don't know, its a fracking bad habit and I got to loose it. Now it's time to think and focus myself on the part of loosing that nasty habit, for good.

Rush it!

The idea to rush in life is how pointless? Oky ja it is really worthless. I haven't rushed, or maybe I have, but my intentions are strictly based on facts. The oil stocks are so fun to play with, got another 5€ in 29 minutes :D
 I'm wondering though, what is the cause for people smoking cigarettes? I have smoked it, for a couple of years, but that was because I was working as  security guard, and yea it sucked balls when I had to catch teenagers, I hate how they begged to get away. But why do other people smoke? Because they want to look cool? Be different? Or just cause they are nicotine junkies? I got a perfect thing to say, smoking 10-20 smokes per day, for a man, will cause his "kuku" loose his strength in the middle ages. Lucky me, I got the perfect motivation to drop smoking.
 People keep telling me, wordless trance songs are pointless. Pointless my ass!! Saying that means people haven't got any fracking imagination, or fantasies, not to mention dreams. Brain dead suckers hahahah.
Well now I got to finish to my stocks news and then go bed :) But before that LOCKERZ REDEMPTION UWIIIII :)

Sweden?

Oky, so after I came to home, which is in Hiiumaaa, I realized today, we got Sweden in here. I know, I know its funny. Living in Estonia, having Sweden in here, is quite funny.
 Other than that, I hate ice, specially having a slick shoes, and making your way on the road, being an acrobat. Thankfully, I love the snow on each side of the road, easy and soft landing :D

Sensual Wut?

So I figured out what exactly does sensual touch massage is?  Ironic, but I love it, need to some more inspiration  while doing it to her.  However, as much as it may sound funny, I've done massage only a few times in my life, don't believe me, but I have. Some have said, I got golden hands Oo. Never understood what they meant saying that.
Other than that,I love getting news, specially good news. I try ignore and wash away the bad news. SO, here it goes. I can be with Karin  in few days <3 What else? Good news, good news....  ooo. Yesterday I had to walk through 5cm water,in tallinn, because on both side it was clear ice :D 9/10 people who tried sidewalk, failed and fell in the water anyhow. Culture city of europe 2011? haha, My ass that is.

ChikiBriki?

Peek a boo, where's the baby? I just love Ice age, all 3 movies. Even today, I watched Ice Age 1.  Having a wonderful day today, even though my head is still aching, going worse from time to time, but I still am alive, that's the main thing (:
Lockerz, a great site, with lots of fun. I won 2x 150$ paypal checks from VIP auctions. I just laugh all the time, I watch their videos they put up there, its so hilarious. Perfect site :)
I want to get my hands ready for the big shots in stocks. I can't believe how easy it can be for me, earning there is like taking candy of a child, which is rude, but its that easy. Wish me good luck with it and hopefully we will see a new millionaire any time soon (:
Take care people :D

Twisted?!?

The irony of love is incredible. As many of you feel like this headline is weird, try twist your real love, you'll see how weird that is, or in other case, you can try listening to ATB- Twisted Love.
 What else happened today? Ooh, I hate this dam season, everything is melting, including me,when being with her, but the water the snow produces from melting. Sometimes I feel like walking in a river.
 "We say goodbye in pouring rain, and I break down as you walk away" A few weeks ago, during weekend, I felt the same way as that sentence on a song from Hurts- Stay.  Sometimes I feel like each time you had to leave, I would loose you.
 Enough of of this, lets get to real business. <3 My Plus500 stocks gambling :) Now that shit is seriously twisted :)

Get a fact and then act

Looking suspicious now are we? Of course we are, anyhow facts are cool to know and get. Like a chance to get a fact your loving someone? How would you feel? Butterflies in you stomach? Its a great feeling, specially if the person gives you love back.
 Why act when you get the fact? Or let me rephrase it, why wouldn't you act? Think about it, like I have, you'll see a lot of wonders.