Heaven or hell?

Being in heaven is good, specially if your in heaven with the person you love the most. For me on other hand, this can't happen obviously. Hell in that case, that is the place I belong to.Although I don't listen to heavy metal, or act like a dick( I have acted like this, probably one of the reasons I lost her) but I belong to hell. I've made my life sound like a place perfectly suiting for people who go to hell.

 I had laughs today!! Is that a miracle? Perhaps...perhaps indeed. But that was incredible that I laughed. The reasons why I had laughs was because I hanged out with Karin's friend Keidy :) We talked about drivers licence school, and we discussed about a lot of things, including the real reasons behind my disastrous break-up with Karin. It made me feel as if I'm one of the worst men in world, maybe I am, maybe I'm not, no one can really tell that.  Me and Keidy talked for around 1,5 hours and I honestly laughed many times. 

 At work, I had no mood to work today, it brings so much memories for me when we was together with Karin. When she visited me, waited me, or just came to my work for few minutes. When I remembered that, while I was smoking, my mood fell 100x lower and it gave me depression. But overall, I've started to think more positive.

 Sex addiction? What the hell haha? I did knew people can become sex addicted, but becoming one so easily, that I wasn't aware of! Californication series star David Duchovny obviously is one. Thank god I am not one, but after reading how easily one can become on, I'm scared!

 I saw a futuristic yacht from Adastra! WOW!! That looked like a dam fighter from Star wars, ugly as hell from outside, but more beautiful inside! Same goes for humans, looks isn't 100% when loving the opposite sex! That's the reason I never think of myself as a cute guy, I don't like Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp, but I have characteristics they don't. 

 Well nothing more for now. Tomorrow I will start giving out hints on how my song is taking advance! I will also post a small recorded sounds of it, no lyrics, but still a start! I have written all the lyrics I need, all that I owe my biggest thanks to Karin! The time we spent together helped me figure out the lyrics and she helped me the most with my song!

 So Karin: "I give you my biggest and most sincere thanks!"

 See you tomorrow with new news and more text of my upcoming journey to "Becoming a better Man" 

 P.S I am also having an auction on Osta.ee for a acoustic guitar. Its a new hobby I call: " Take this and leave that"

Bai :)

(I cannot hide my depression when I'm all alone in my rented apartment, all those memories with me and Karin, it's killing me!!! :(. I might think of changing the apartment)


My Chemical Romance- Na Na Na Na