I suppose everyone already knows what has had happened in the past 5 days. For the ones who doesn't know, I've lost Karin(the girl I love more than anything). The reason why it happened is because appearently she lied to me if she said she loved me, but the main problem is that she left me because she realized what a dick I am. I know I'm not proud of my past life, nor happy in the past events that has happened with my previous relationships, but I took all that and finally changed my life 180 degrees. I've stopped lieing to people, but on June 15th, I took the liberty of lieing to another girl. Yes I did it, I admit it, but it was one lie I had to do, because I didn't saw any other opportunity. It was my last seconds critical decision, but lieing to others, I've not done so since April. I used to lie, and hurt people, including Karin, but she took me with her, and she changed my life totally!!
All that hard work, to change myself, and still nothing has changed, were we happy with Karin, when we were together? Maybe, I was more than happy, I can honestly say, I was happier than 101% of the men worldwide. Being with Karin was the time of my life, and I sincerely hope it was the same for her, after all she said.
All that said, it doesn't really matter now, Karin has left me all alone, packed her bag and left me all alone in the world. It hurts, it hurts every bit of my heart and soul, and I will be honest with you, I wanted to kill myself, a part of me still does, but I can't do it. I've told several people I care about, that I'll kill myself, but I just cannot do this. It would hurt Karin,and all the other people even more. I don't want to seem weak person, although I've cried over Karin for days. ( I know men should be strong, but loosing your love of your life, hurts)
Maybe we can pick up another subject tomorrow, maybe not. I just hope that Karin will someday realize how much I truly do love her, and when I said to her : "I will never leave you", maybe she understands I meant it with all my heart.
I love you Karin(L)
Please forgive me for what I've done to you, to hurt you and lied in the past.
All that hard work, to change myself, and still nothing has changed, were we happy with Karin, when we were together? Maybe, I was more than happy, I can honestly say, I was happier than 101% of the men worldwide. Being with Karin was the time of my life, and I sincerely hope it was the same for her, after all she said.
All that said, it doesn't really matter now, Karin has left me all alone, packed her bag and left me all alone in the world. It hurts, it hurts every bit of my heart and soul, and I will be honest with you, I wanted to kill myself, a part of me still does, but I can't do it. I've told several people I care about, that I'll kill myself, but I just cannot do this. It would hurt Karin,and all the other people even more. I don't want to seem weak person, although I've cried over Karin for days. ( I know men should be strong, but loosing your love of your life, hurts)
Maybe we can pick up another subject tomorrow, maybe not. I just hope that Karin will someday realize how much I truly do love her, and when I said to her : "I will never leave you", maybe she understands I meant it with all my heart.
I love you Karin(L)
Please forgive me for what I've done to you, to hurt you and lied in the past.
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