Les Fleurs De Mal

I'm so into les fleurs de mal, also known as The flowers of evil. I just don't know what brings this old poetry to me, but it is kind of a home, if you understand me, probably not but still.
 The great man behind this awesome tale is Charles Baudelaire.

 A great piece of art in a song:

Sarah Brightman- Fleurs de mal(gothica version)


I found some job, I can do while still being a handicapped, nothing much, just a bit of help, however it can help me with 15 euros a day :)

If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.

So I finally came up with the perfect way to grow my self-esteem, and before I continue how, she who used to be my N1, it ain't thanks to you.
 Anywho, I started to give in some special tactics to my day, a secret at the moment, but I can give hint its life hacking literally.


So I went to local bike race few days ago, I finished 34th out of 68 racers. Pretty good, considering I didn't have a road bike, like over 40 people there. I had some pros and cons during the race, but the fact I finished it was pretty good. The distance was 17,5km and I finished it with 57 minutes, could have gone faster, but the bikes pedal started to make creepy noise and I slowed down. 

This is moi, in the finishing line. Overall, I'm happy with the result.


My terrarium is getting weird, already broke 3 of them, so the 4th has to succeed!




I don't give a shit what she might think about me stealing her idea about PL(playlist).

Here's what i'm listening to right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ulHlv659Jo

Flying away from the reality, whatever ever happened to gravity?

Summer!!
2nd best season ever. Of course when you don't get sun burnt like I did. Crappy UV-radiation. But at least, apart from the back, my body is pretty brown, half niggerish already. Women still tend to watch me, if I walk along the streets, fuking hate this shit. I'd rather shoot a bullet to those women's face than talk with them. All they look is my uhh middle area.
 I went to swimming yesterday, first time this year, was hard, since back started to give pain after swimmning, but dam it felt cold, the water, but in the same time, it felt amazing.
Going to start building a terrarium, smaller at first, then unto my own house I'll plan a gigantic terrarium with awesome shit.
"Why? Fuck you flowers, how does it feel to get kicked right in the face.jpg"

War ain't comparable to the madness and sadness behind love.

I actually got nothing to write in here other than I got electrified twice today while lawn mowing. Still shaken inside, probably my heart popped out of its spot, cause I don't feel nothing in my chest.
 I also saw something amazing in my dream. I actually don't hate people, I just hate myself if I have to communicate with them. Feels actually good not to speak with anyone, just listening to my songs and watching the sky.

 I love rain, love running in rain, love everything about rain, yet I cannot see it as much as I would want to.

Standing in the darkness

Its been a while since last post, been busy with refreshing my current life. After starting over people have gone from my life like butterflies and nothing brings them back, its sad, if not worse.
 I'm going nuts, probably already am, but things just blow into pieces.
I...Well lets face it my problems are my problems and they will never be anyone else's. I dunno what to do with my life besides trying to find my happiness? There is nothing in this world that makes me happy, I might laugh, make jokes(hardly) but inside I'm burning and tired of everyone and everything. I also realized what do I have, MDD a.k.a Major depressive disorder.
 Welcome to my life.

 Other than that, there is one thing more of which I'm certain. I know what I am, and everyone else can just fuck themselves.

Wings of tomorrow

I want to have wings of tomorrow, so I could fly up to the sky and see the amazing orange sun setting down. I took the picture behind my house near our pond and it was lovely evening when I walked outside yesterday.
I saw a dream the today, while napping during the day. It was beautiful, cause I was a swallow and flew above everyone I knew, without them knowing it. For once in those 12 minutes of dreaming I was free, free from everything and everyone, and for the first time I saw the sunset from 900m above the sea level,nothing can beat that feeling.

 I finished off my strawberry spring cleaning.

 Before

After                                            

My small project is also coming to life and it improves with every day.

 I finally realized one thing that can be done and I did it.

We always have the will to go on.Blood brothers in to the bone

Old tires, used palettes, a mind full of ideas.

Summer is closing in with each day, LOVE it! This brings so much joy and makes me smile. I have so much to do, in the garden, in the beach, making new home-made furniture, etc.

 I'm also collecting hundreds of motivational wallpapers, including exercise and other awesome subjects. I've found also one of the most epic wallpapers I've seen.

This picture> low life nigga jews.

I'm studying for the tests for Gustav Adolf Gümnaasium. The tests are held on 18th of June, and frankly 90% of the studied material I learnt years ago, have vanished from my brain haha.

Peace out.